|
"Heero Yuy, L6, and the Second Suit Wars "Part 1Written By: ELLE Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Gundam
Wing (unfortunately) and they were used without permission, but all
the words are my own. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: occurs post-EW, language, angst, sex,
hopefully acceptable OOC, 1st person POV (*shudder* sorry, no way
around it!), plus a ton of minor and a few major OCs (since it's 1st
person, you get to avoid dealing with them too much.) Pairings: 1x2x1 plus others TBD Summary: Jack Kaufmann has no recollection of the braided man who claims they were once more than friends, but his quest to recover his memories leads him to discover a plot much larger than himself that is a threat to the peace he'd once fought to protect... Author's Notes: This is gonna be a doozy of a fic, guys. I'm thinking 100k+. I'll likely update Monday, Wednesday, Friday and then take a brief hiatus between sections of the trilogy just to get all my G-boys in a row, so to speak. ;-P This fic starts off a little slow, in my typical psychological style, but will pick up into an action fic by the end so stick with it, please! =) The lovely Miss-Murdered beta'd this for me and frankly this story wouldn't exist without her encouragement. Oh and some of the topics I'm discussing here are waaaay out of my league so go easy on me, okay? My husband is a computer programmer and I've taken a few classes but my knowledge ends there. I hopefully know enough that I didn't make any glaring errors but no promises.
"Memoirs of a Former Life" 1.3 The Accusation
The train ride to Sanc was relatively uneventful. I spent a lot of time wishing I were in my nice, sterile lab and not a train infested with cranky children and obnoxious young couples with their irritating public displays of affection. I failed to bury myself in a text I'd picked up at the conference and while I'd like to have blamed it on the external distractions I was honestly more internally absorbed and flat out anxious about my upcoming meeting with Duo. The train arrived on time and I stepped out onto the landing platform and glanced around. I noticed him standing off to the side, about a hundred yards away, casually leaning against a column but staring straight at me. I swallowed hard and bid my heart to slow down. I wish I understood what it was about those eyes... Since he knew I knew he was watching, he stayed where he was and I approached him. Maybe it was his way of letting me escape if I really wanted, I don't know. But as I got closer I realized he wasn't quite as enthusiastic as the last time we saw each other and there was certainly not going to be any hugging or paling around today. "Hey," he greeted with a nod and I nodded back. We sized each other up for a moment in that way men always do when they feel threatened but he backed off first and pushed himself off the column. "Sorry if I made you nervous about lunch," he said with a subdued smile. "You'll like the place I picked. The waitresses aren't chatty." Once again he knew something about me that I couldn't figure out. I didn't really know what to say, so I just followed him onto a bus. The silence between us was a bit uncomfortable, but not more so than the silence that preceded me as I walked into a boardroom, so I didn't mind. We were let off in a distinctly East-Asian district of Sanc with signs advertising all different types of wares in various languages. I noted Chinese, Japanese, Korean, and Vietnamese. I vaguely hoped Duo knew sushi was my favorite because the smell and atmosphere we were in left me craving it. It appeared I was in luck as he led me into a small, traditional establishment I would've never discovered on my own as it was nearly unmarked and down the side of a dingy alley. But inside was warm and cozy, the comforting smell of bamboo, short grain rice, and fresh fish immediately hitting me. I hadn't been to a place like this in a long time and I could tell by the self-satisfied grin on Duo's face as he studied me that he knew he had made a good choice. He chose a secluded table in the back of the relatively empty restaurant and Duo ordered quickly for us the chef's choice. His ability to predict my actions was uncanny. Once the waitress brought and poured our water and tea he pulled a small envelope from his pocket. "Here." He handed it over to me with a reluctance I didn't understand at first. "That's it. You can see I never opened it. I guess that releases me of all responsibility to you, now." Ah, that was it. It was a phrase most people would've cheered at but in this case it meant that he had nothing of me left and no reason to see me ever again. I stared at the envelope, feeling the rough paper in my hands before cracking the seal on it and dumping the contents on the table. It was a key. A plain, small key with the number 012 stamped into it. I held it up as two sets of curious eyes looked it over. "Aw man," Duo sighed, "that's so like you. I've stared at that damned envelope for three and a half years and that's it?" "You don't know what this is to?" I asked skeptically. Duo shook his head. I searched the envelope for any clue but there was none. "Maybe a safe deposit box?" Duo suggested then, scratching his head. "You were pretty guarded the last few months before you disappeared... You never told me about it." "Disappeared?" I inquired, tucking the key into my wallet carefully. He seemed irritated. "You know, when you left me - really, us - without a trace? Oh, unless you call that vague 'promise' of our reunion a..." He trailed off but his glare deepened. "We all looked for you. Even Relena. She went off the deep end. You were supposed to walk her down the aisle at her wedding, you know? We all kinda hoped you'd show anyway but no, I had to do it, and God knows I told you enough times I'm never walking down a fucking aisle..." he muttered the last bit but I was still in shock. I knew Relena too? Well enough to walk her down the aisle? Is she how I knew Duo? "I've never met her," I struggled out, feeling lost. I just couldn't believe he would make all this up. For what reason? He was clearly going through some unpleasant emotions at my sudden reappearance in his life that I couldn't imagine he was faking it but that meant there was something seriously inconsistent with regards to my own life history. Duo was shaking his head in disbelief. "At least we're both equally forgettable to you. The way we chased you around the world you'd think you'd remember one of us. Guess I'd be a little bitter if you remembered her and not me..." Thankfully the waitress returned with a wide variety of sushi, more food than I thought we could probably ever finish. But we both eagerly dug in to avoid the conversation we weren't having. "I read a lot of your work this week," he finally broke the silence after a good ten minutes. "Pretty fascinating stuff. I can see why MIT gave you a doctorate." I nodded, studying his serious eyes. I felt almost threatened by them, like he was about to pin me into a corner. But surely he couldn't possibly have understood my work well enough to contradict me. Then again... "The implications for memory reconstruction are vast," he said quietly, his eyes pinned to the plate as he planned what piece of sushi he was going to select next. I snorted. "What do you mean?" He'd selected squid. "You spawned a sentient AI. Clearly altering consciousness shouldn't be difficult from there." He looked at me as he popped it in his mouth, challenging me to rope him into an argument. "I suppose. But altering an already formatted mind is far different than creating a basic sentient life-form." "I would think the opposite. You don't have to develop a perfect environment to house the life-form - it's already been created for you." "But we don't understand the inner workings of the brain to the same degree we do a computer. If you make one mistake, you could fundamentally destroy the subject," I explained, although I had a feeling he already knew the implications based on his accusations at the conference. "You're a smart boy," Duo quipped in irritation. "I'm sure you could figure it out." We lapsed back into silence. The sushi, while high quality, had lost its taste to me. For some reason his unhappiness affected me greatly and I felt strangely guilty. I wished I could give him something, I wished I could remember him, but I couldn't. I wasn't his Heero Yuy. I was Jack Kaufmann, precocious kid from L1 who dropped out of school at age 12 to do independent research on AI development. As the food disappeared - I was shocked at how much he could consume - I think we both realized there was little else to say. No matter how much he wanted it to be otherwise, the fact of the matter was, we didn't know each other at all. "I haven't told the others about you yet," he assured me, though I didn't know exactly who he meant. Maybe Relena? "I don't plan on it. You know, so if you don't want to have any more contact with me, you don't have to. We can go our separate ways and no one will bug ya." "Is that what you want?" I asked after a moment, unsure of his reason for telling me this. He must know I didn't know who he was talking about. Unless he thought I was still faking it... Duo shrugged, suddenly studying the tablecloth intently. "I dunno," he admitted, taking a deep breath then blowing it out so it ruffled his bangs. "Part of me wants you to stay but when I see you it hurts too bad. You're him, but you're not." He looked at me and the pain was evident in his eyes. "I guess it's selfish of me to want Heero when you're Jack now." I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't think it was selfish, really, part of me wanted to be his Heero. Whatever had occurred between us was obviously very powerful. But that's what convinced me that I couldn't be him. I never felt something that powerful for anyone. I'm not even sure if I could. "I'm sorry," I finally said, although I surprised even myself by saying it. I didn't make a habit of apologizing for things that weren't my fault. Obviously he knew that about me because he blinked a few times in surprise. "Huh?" he asked. "What for?" "That I am a disappointment to you. That I went to that conference and you saw me." I hated what I was saying. I never talked like this, rambling without reason. But it made Duo chuckle. "Well, in that way maybe Jack is better than Heero," he said, leaning his chin on his hand. "Heero would've never said that." I decided not to tell him I didn't want to say it either. Despite his arguments, I paid for the meal to thank him for his time and he led me on a quiet journey back to the train station. Duo got off the bus outside the terminal and walked me to the paneled glass entrance-way but he stopped about ten feet from the door. He tapped two fingers to his forehead and drew them away in a goodbye wave. "I'd say I hope to see ya around, but I'm not sure that's true," he admitted with chagrin before turning on his heels and walking back into the street before I could conjure up a reply. I stood there for a moment, until that braided head disappeared from sight, before signing in and boarding my train. It wasn't until thirty minutes into the ride as I dissected our limited conversation that I realized, with sweaty palms, the logical conclusion of his allegations on my research. "The implications for memory reconstruction are vast," he had said. I remembered that look in his eyes, that coiled anger. I didn't understand, I thought it was my research - why didn't I see it for what it was...? "You're a smart boy," he had said, "I'm sure you could figure it out." Duo thought I did this to myself.
~ * ~ tbc... |
